Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Expanding the Conversation by Supporting Women, Men, and the LGBTQIA+ Community

Written By destinee barker

Domestic Violence Affects Everyone

Every October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month reminds us of the importance of safety, empathy, and prevention. While the conversation often centers on women, and for good reason, domestic and intimate partner violence (IPV) also deeply affects men and the LGBTQIA+ community.

At Bloom Within Counseling, I believe healing begins with every survivor feeling seen, supported, and safe.

Safety Note: If you are searching for help online, please be cautious. Use a private or incognito window, and consider deleting your browsing history after visiting websites about domestic violence or counseling especially if you share a computer or device with your partner. Your safety comes first, always.

Why it Matters

Domestic violence (DV) doesn’t just affect “women in heterosexual relationships.” While women are disproportionately impacted, men, non-binary folks, and LGBTQIA+ people also face violence in intimate relationships, and often face unique barriers to help.

  • According to a CDC 2022 study, about 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetimes. (KBFLC, unknown)

  • Among men: approximately 1 in 12 men (8%) have experienced sexual violence other than rape by an intimate partner. (Domestic Shelters, 2015)

  • In LGBTQIA+ communities:

    • 61.1% of bisexual women, 26% of gay men, and 37.3% of bisexual men reported an experience of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking within an intimate relationship. (City of Philadelphia, 2022)

    • 54% of transgender individuals reported experiencing some form of intimate partner violence in their lifetimes. (Fairfax County Virginia, 2022)

  • Abuse often goes unreported, especially among men and LGBTQIA+ survivors, due to stigma, fear, or lack of trusted support.

This brief overview of statistics highlight that while patterns might differ, the need for awareness, support, and inclusive outreach is universal.

What Does “Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Violence” Cover?

Domestic/intimate partner violence is more than physical assault. It can include:

  • Physical harm (hitting, slapping, choking, using a weapon)

  • Sexual violence (rape, unwanted sexual contact, coercion)

  • Stalking or harassment

  • Emotional/psychological abuse (threats, isolation, humiliation)

  • Financial control (controlling money, employment, access to resources)

  • Coercive control (monitoring, restricting movements, using identity/sexuality/gender as leverage)

Especially in LGBTQIA+ and male-survivor contexts, non-physical forms of abuse like isolation, identity-shaming or outing threats, and financial coercion are often prominent.

Barriers for Men and LGBTQIA+ Survivors

It’s critical for any DV awareness effort to be inclusive. Here are some factors that uniquely impact men and LGBTQIA+ survivors:

  • Stigma & silence: Men are less likely to report abuse; social norms may suggest men “shouldn’t” be victims. (Domestic Shelters, 2015)

  • Lack of appropriate services: Many shelters and programs center on women in heterosexual relationships; LGBTQIA+ survivors may fear discrimination or lack of culturally-competent support. (Sage USA, 2024)

  • Identity-related leverage: For LGBTQIA+ individuals, abusers may use one’s sexual orientation or gender identity as a tool of control (threatening outing, using homophobia/transphobia).

  • Under-reporting: Some survivors may avoid law enforcement due to fear of being disbelieved, concerns about bias, or prior negative experiences.

By acknowledging these barriers, we can position ourselves as safe and inclusive resources for all survivors, especially here at Bloom Within Counseling.

Why Awareness in October Matters

October’s focus offers opportunities to:

  • Encourage early recognition of signs of abuse (in oneself, partner, friends)

  • Promote inclusive language and outreach (not just female victims, but all genders/identities)

  • Highlight resources and support services that are competent, accessible, and affirming

  • Inspire survivors to reach out and feel seen, understood and supported

  • Encourage community members, friends, family, and allies to act (listen, believe, refer)

Key Signs of Abuse to Watch For

Whether you are supporting someone or evaluating your own relationship, some warning signs include:

  • Unexplained injuries, frequent “accidents”, or excuses

  • Extreme jealousy, monitoring of communications or movements

  • Isolation from friends/family, guilt-shaming, threats

  • Financial control: access to money is limited, partner handles all finances

  • Verbal/emotional abuse: name-calling, humiliation, threats, gaslighting

  • Sexual coercion or assault, even if the partner is the same gender or another identity

  • Threats related to identity: “If you leave, I’ll tell people you’re gay/trans”, or similar manipulative behavior

  • A partner who dismisses the idea that abuse happens to men or LGBTQIA+ people, thus invalidating your experience

Encouraging survivors to trust their feelings (“if it feels unsafe or wrong”) is often more effective than relying solely on visible injuries.

What you can do (if you’re a survivor or an ally)

For survivors:

  • If you’re in immediate danger, call 911 or local emergency services.

  • Reach out to a domestic violence hotline or talk with a trusted mental-health professional. The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers 24/7 assistance at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) and via online chat.

  • Document incidents (dates, photos, messages) if safe to do so.

  • Build a safety plan: identify a safe place, save important documents (IDs, bank info), let a friend know what’s going on.

  • Seek support from a therapist, support group, or an inclusive-DV organization that understands male and LGBTQIA+ survivors.

  • Remember: the abuse is not your fault. You deserve to feel safe and respected.

For friends, family, and allies:

  • Believe and validate the person’s experience. Avoid minimizing (“Oh it wasn’t that bad”) even if you can’t fully see all aspects of the abuse.

  • Offer non-judgmental support. Ask: “What do you think would help?” rather than “Why don’t you just leave?”

  • Connect them to inclusive resources (see below).

  • Be patient: leaving an abusive relationship is complex and may take time.

  • Educate yourself about how abuse can look different in same-gender relationships or when gender identity is involved.

Inclusive resources worth sharing

Here are trusted resources that intentionally serve all survivors, including men and LGBTQIA+ individuals:

How Bloom Within Counseling can help

At Bloom Within Counseling, my mission is to create a safe, welcoming space for all survivors of intimate partner and domestic violence. Here is how I help:

  • Affirm that abuse is about power/control not about gender or sexuality alone.

  • I am trained to recognize subtle and identity-specific patterns of abuse (e.g., LGBTQIA+ dynamics, male survivors, non-binary folks).

  • Offer individual therapy focused on safety planning, healing trauma, reclaiming identity, rebuilding trust and empowerment.

  • Offer local referral networks, shelters, legal advocacy, and support groups that welcome diverse identities.

  • Encourage community outreach, education, and prevention frameworks.

If you’re reading this and wondering, “Could this be happening to me?”, or “I’m supporting someone I care about”, reaching out is a brave and important step. If you would like to schedule an appointment or contact me, click here.

Final Thought

Domestic violence is often hidden behind closed doors, and the silence can be especially loud for survivors who don’t fit the “traditional” victim profile. Whether you identify as a woman, man, non-binary person, or are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, know that help exists, and you are not alone.

This October as we observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month let’s commit to understanding the full picture of abuse, affirm all survivors, dismantle stigma, and expand inclusive support. Healing begins with being seen and believed.

If you need help today, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Or reach out to Bloom Within Counseling for confidential and affirming care if you are located in Tennessee.

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destinee barker
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